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My Almost-daily Journal |
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| About I love trying out new things, especially when it comes to internet technology. I never really kept a journal, but it's something that I've always wanted to do. Now, everybody will get a chance to look inside my twisted, and somewhat-warped mind.
I've also subscribed to Audio Blog, so a few times a week, I'll leave actual voice blogs. Very cool!XML Newsfeed Previous Posts
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Wednesday, April 09, 2003
The Good News Got my Dell Axim yesterday! What an awesome gadget! It uses Microsoft's Pocket PC OS, which integrates seamlessly with the big boy OS that 99% of us use on our main computers. I used a Palm OS handheld for about a year, and it was a little limiting. Plus, this Axim uses a 400 MHz Intel processor, which is as powerful as a main computer I used 1.5 years ago. Very sweet. Also, Excel and Word documents are easily created via the Axim, and transfer nicely into the larger full-blooded app. I'm looking forward to exploiting this little device to its fullest. Peter has a second GPS peripheral that he's going to let me try, and I'm looking forward to playing with that. The Bad News Stardate: 08.01.02 I started getting surprise visits of black carpenter ants in the summer last year. I have no idea where they came from. Perhaps they liked the low rent that I offer. Their visits were scarce... perhaps one a week. They were executed on site. Startdate 12.26.02 I bought a face cord of wood since I had exhausted my cache the prior winter. I mainly bought the wood for ambiance for my annual Christmas Party. Like a dumbass, I kept about ten logs next to the fireplace. I'm assuming that this is where the carpenter ant apartments were located. Stardate 02.02.03 The carpenter ant frequency has increased to about 4-10 per day. I have no idea where the fuck they're coming from. Each one gets executed: either with fire, decapitation with a knife, or chemical warfare. Ant traps are set all over the house. The ant traps dont' work on carpenter ants. They prefer to get their added dose of calories from either the garbage or foodstuff Josh leaves in the sink (he's the antithesis of a "tidy" human). At this point, I feel like burning down the house. Stardate 03.20.03 Chemical warfare... The house is doused with ant neurotoxins in every possible nook and cranny. Danielle and Josh protest and complain of jaundice, fever, tremors, and shakes. I don't budge. If I see an ant, it gets doused, along with its trajectory and place of origin. My kitchen floor now has a nice sheen, due to the constant application of pesticide. Stardate 03.26.03 The ants take notice of the kitchen eviction and now can be seen congergating more in the family room. I find several under the sofa armrest, and immediately begin freaking out. The armrests get doused. The couch gets moved and turned over on itself. A few more stragglers are found behind the couch. They are all executed and/or tortured. I also do an inspection under the sink, as well as behind the stove, dishwasher, and refrigerator. No dwellings found. No town meetings. Where the fuck do they live? Stardate 04.01.02 Weather is nice, so I go outdoors and prune some of my roses. I also clean up leaves around the house, and get the homestead ready for spring. I arm my sprayer with Diazanon (a garden pesticide that kills all biological dwellers) with a concentration that is three times the recommended dosage. The entire periphery of my home is sprayed. I spray so much, I fear that the groundwater is in dire straits of contamination. The entire periphery of the house is "muddy" with Diazanon. I also notice about 20 carpenter ants crawling around the periphery of the house. Their future is unknown, but I can tell you that they won't be doing to much "bang-bang-bang" anytime soon. Stardate 04.03.02 Carpenter ants have not shown up inside the homestead. I feel that the Diazanon perhaps did the trick. I'm finally feeling that these fuckers got the hint, and moved on with their lives. I finally feel some inner peace. Stardate 04.09.03 Damn them all to fucking "hell". I find a motherfucking carpenter ant taking a stroll in the bathroom sink! How the fuck do they make it into the bathroom!! Son of a bitch! This one doesn't get executed. This one gets tortured. I took a razor blade and cut off his fucking legs... all of them. I placed him in the middle of the kitchen floor. Hopefull the other ants will get the hint, since ants are pretty intelligent for their size. If I see another ant, I'm calling Orkin. I'm sure they'll want to tear up my kitchen, as there's probably a colony making a salad bar out of my 2X6's used for the flooring. I weep at the possibilities of destruction these cock-sucking, motherfucking carpenter ants can leave in their wake. posted by Dino at 9:55 AM (permanent link) |