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My Almost-daily Journal |
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| About I love trying out new things, especially when it comes to internet technology. I never really kept a journal, but it's something that I've always wanted to do. Now, everybody will get a chance to look inside my twisted, and somewhat-warped mind.
I've also subscribed to Audio Blog, so a few times a week, I'll leave actual voice blogs. Very cool!XML Newsfeed  |
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Depression... Who Cares!? I WANT A SMOKE!!! You may have already read the blog below about Post-traumatic Vacation Depression Disorder... if you haven't, you should read that first before continuing. Mental fortitude-- that's what it takes right now. I'm hardly a strong-willed person. I usually give in to almost any type of pressure. But right now I need mental fortitude. Yes, I am suffering from Greece withdrawal, in a major way. Where did all the love go? Where's my village salad!? I want feta cheese!!!! And let's not forget the main thing on my mind right now: I WANT A F'ING CIGARETTE! I want one so bad right now, I'd eat one... that was still on fire... on the ground... in a public restroom... covered in piss. I want one really bad. So I'm dealing with two things... vacation withdrawal and nicotine/tar withdrawal! I don't even know what to do with myself. I'll Do What the Greeks Do: EAT I know... I'll make myself a village salad! I drive by Antonios Market on the way home! Oh boy! Tomato, cucumber, olives, red onion, feta, and mountain-grown Greek oregano!!!! Guess what? I HAVE mountain-grown Greek oregano from Greece!! It's still on the branch!! And I'm not going to make the salad the way I've been making it for the last ten years. Nope! This time I'm not going to use Balsamic vinegar! Nosirree! I'm buying regular red wine vinegar like the Greeks use. And I'm buying a loaf of bread. And I'm going to sprinkle the oregano on top of the feta like they do in Greece. And I'm going to eat it all... out on my veranda. And I'm going to listen to the American cicadas (I'm bilingual, so I'll understand them). And I'm going to drink a Coca Cola out of the bottle, with a straw. And the Coca Cola won't even be that cold. And I'm going to wait a few hours, and have a glass of Ouzo and water (the water makes the Ouzo cloudy). And I'm going to have some mezze with my Ouzo. I don't know what kind of mezze I'll make... perhaps just a few cucumbers and a tiropita (cheese pie). I hope Antonios has tiropitas. posted by Dino at 5:44 PM (permanent link) Post-traumatic Vacation Depression Disorder I'm not sure there is such a medical condition, but whenever I return from a vacation, I always feel a little blue! Even after only one week of scuba diving in the Carribean, I'm mentally and physically depressed for at least a week. One time I was depressed as well as infected with Pneumonia... I think there's almost a correlation. Personally, I feel depression is caused or catalyzed by bacteria in the brain. Anyway... Our Greece vacation wasn't a week long. It was two weeks long! And it was not in a country where I predominantly spoke English. No! I regressed back to age five. I was mostly speaking Greek! Fluent Greek! Add that variable to the mess of primordial mental baggage I'm suffereing. I can still envision the drive along the Aegean coast along Greece's new National Road heading to my parents' village of Agios Basilios. I can still remember the smells of shish kabobs, grilled fish, ouzo and feta cheese. I can still hear the raucous of an orchestra that hundreds and thousands of cicadas fiddle during the scorching day. And the love... soooo much love in that village... It almost seems surreal that relatives that hardly know me (cumulative time together is probably less than one year), treated me as if I've lived with them for 34 years. Perhaps I've lived in their hearts? I hate to coin cliche's, but, "Blood is thicker than water"! I can vouche for that firsthand. So, here I sit, in my office at Decoma, wondering what happened. How am I going to get by without the smell of gyros, shish kabobs, and fish. Why isn't there a tomato, cucumber, onion, olive and feta salad looking at me in the eyes right now? How can I go through a day without a "village" salad. How can I go through a day without the sounds of cicadas echoing the olive orchards? What about Fredos and Frappes? Where did all the cafenias (coffee shops) go, where only men are allowed? Why can't I get an Ouzo & water with a little plate of Mezze that was always delivered with a smile? Back to the mundane grind: waking up, showering, driving to work in our metal coffins while viewing our concrete jungles littered with strip malls and party stores. Then spending the day, answering calls, program managing programs that are nothing more than a controlled chaos, where everybody involved only cares about covering their own asses... not whether or not they can make a profitable, successful program... just covering their own asses. Emails, phonecalls, inter-office correspondance, junk mail, spam, voicemails, more emails, more phonecalls, irrate customers (who do little to help the process of success), departmental meetings, plastic parts, sections, more plastic parts, inventories, shortages, supplier quality violations, QS9000, Word, Excel, Lotus Notes, Fed Ex, rolodex, and then make the drive home. Everybody wants to get home... usually at the same time you do... traffic, traffic lights, horns, bumper-to-bumper, construction, orange barells, flashing yellow lights, construction zones, police, seat belts, speed limits that are half-met, then pulling up the driveway to meet bills, more junk mail, more junk newspapers, dishes, dishwasher, laundry, a leaky fuel filter, a leaky dishwasher, door-to-door charity salesmen, watering flowers, pulling weeds, a house of chaos and disorder, paying bills with Quicken, managing money, Charles Scwabb fees, realizing falling networth, watching 10 minutes of CNN, eating fast food, watch half of a movie, then retire for bed, only to repeat the process the next day. And you wonder why I'm suffering from Post-traumatic Vacation Depression Disorder? posted by Dino at 2:13 PM (permanent link) Monday, July 28, 2003
The Psiatic Nerve Injury I'm not sure if the drug cocktail of Vicodin, Vallium, and Motrin actually did anything for my pinched nerve. The injury happened in such a casual, non-eventful way, I figured the rehabilitation would occur in the same fashion. Needless to say, I did suffer mild to medium discomfort on my vacation in Greece, but it did not prevent Danielle and I from doing everything we wanted to do. Right now, I'd say I'm 75% healed. I'm just doing some stretching exercises now to regain some of my mobility. Paralyzing, death pinch feeling in now gone, and replaced with just a tight muscle in my lower back. Cigarette Detox We're back from Greece. It was amazing. It really served two purposes. It was a long-needed and deserved vacation for both Danielle and I (we didn't use up our vacation time last year), and it served as cigarette detox for me. Yes, I admit, I've been a nicotine junkie probably truley since 1996, when I changed jobs AND moved AND ended a three year relationship. I dabbled with cigarettes and chewing tobacco in college, usually smoking in the bar or while working on my '65 Willy's Jeep, but I never really thought I was addicted to nicotine. I think I became a regular smoker six months after I moved into my new house, since I was surrounded by continuous smokers-- my brother and his friends. From 1997 - 2000 I guess I was pretty hooked to cigarettes. Then I met Danielle, and switched to chewing tobacco, since that was more concealable. I quit smoking cigarettes, and became a pretty regular Skoal user. The body's nicotine requirements stayed pretty constant with the Skoal, but I found myself chewing pretty much non-stop throughout the day. Danielle hated the stuff, and after a few accidents of Danielle drinking out of my spitter bottle (I feel really, really bad... poor girl), I decided it was time to quite that nasty habit. I quit chewing, but my body still demanded nicotine, so I started smoking again... lightly at first, just to wean me off of the chewing habit, but then it became pretty regular. Working in Decoma Development Center didn't help much, since almost all of the technicians in the back smoked regularly... it was the only Decoma facility in the world where you could smoke IN a Decoma building. It was in the back in the shop, but it was nice to smoke back there while working, having discussions or just socializing. Now I'm back at the main building, and smokers are looked at like leper's. Hardly anybody smokes there, which is a slight incentive for me to quit. So, while on our Greece vacation, I did not smoke one single cigarette! I did, however, buy some nicotine gum, that got me through some pretty difficult chemical-deficient times. At the end of the vacation, I was only chewing one or two sticks per day, compared to the one stick every one to two hours. I thought I was cured. Cigarette addiction is a funny thing. I don't think that it's 100% chemical. I think it's 50 - 50, perhaps even 40% chemical and 60% mental. I didn't even think of cigarettes while on the tail end of the vacation. I thought they were out of my mind. But as soon as I got home, to my house, Jeep, garden, and all things familiar, I started craving cigarettes again. Can you believe that!? Cigarettes! Right now I'm craving a fricken cigarette. I wish I had one. I just want to light one up, listen to the crackling of the dried tobacco leaves as they turn from leaf to ash, all while releasing their nicotine, transported on a delivery system of smoke and tar. I WANT A CIGARETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm master of my domain. I'm master of many domains. Quitting smoking is mind over matter, and if my mind had wheels, it would be a Ferrari Dino with the shell of a Sherman Tank. I'll quit smoking just because I want to, and because I can. Perhaps I'll start on heroin and crack, get addicted, and show myself I can quit that too. One thing at a time, though. I think I'm ready for another stick of nicotine gum... it's been two hours. Greece Recap Here's a recap from a previous BB post: Zakynthos was very nice, since it was very lush and green. It was Danielle's favorite island. We didn't get a chance to visit the bones of the saint (didn't even know there were bones of a saint on display). However, we did bump into a really old man walking the streets with some dingy ol' shoes. Perhaps it was him. The only thing I didn't like about Zakynthos was how overly commercialized it was for tourism in too many of the cities. Granted, an island of its beauty warrants tourism, but the Zakynthos jewelry and postcard shops gotta go. You really only need one per city, not 50-100 per city. However, once you got out of the "Honk if you're Greek" towns and into the outskirts (especially the mountains), the island seemed to timewarp you into the pre-1800's. That's the part of the island that I really liked. For me, however, I still revell over the island of Santorini. The islanders still boast of stories of the ancient city of Atlantis, and the tragedy of the volcano (supposedly it's still active) that incinerated 80% of the island. I even somewhat enjoyed walking the streets of Athens at night. There's something invigorating about walking the streets of a city that is thousands of years old... cities built on cities, built on cities, built on cities! Athens is a city where you can dig a hole in the ground and discover a lost civilization (which actually happened when they were cutting tunnels for the new subway system). Patras and Agios Basilios (St. Basili) were as equally impressive to me, since they are the hometowns of my parents and 100% of my relatives. We even had a chance to stroll through the Agios Basilios cemetary so I could snap some hard evidence for my genealogy work-in-progress. I took pictures of almost every grave in that cemetary! I kept asking my parents, "Is this person related to us?" She responded, "We are related to EVERY person in this cemetary!" Wow. I hope the gene pool had some variance. This vacation ended up being five vacations in one: Athens, Agios Basilios, Santorini, Zakynthos, and a mini-tour of Peloponisos. I think you can compare Peloponisos/Greece to Michigan/USA. Oh, and one thing that we did discover about Greece, and Greek mentality, is that the transportation system has no order whatsoever. People have no patience on the road, and there is no such thing as road courtesy. You are expected to drive on the shoulders of highways to let everybody pass. There is no waiting. Stoplights are just opportunities for the impatient to inch their way in front of you, as well as to allow motorcycles, mopeds and scooters to move ahead to the front of the line, only to be passed again a mile later. The disorder, lack of courtesy and impatience doesn't only apply to roads and the transportation system. It applies to anywhere there is a line and anwhere people will have to wait. It's not uncommon to be standing in line ordering something from a fast-food restaurant, and some impatient Greek flanks the line and impatiently starts to order food from the person you are ordering food from. And nobody seems to get pissed, since everybody is doing the same thing. The ironic thing with all the line-cutting, traffic swerving, traffic cut-offs, and general lack of courtesy, "Road Rage" does not exist. If someone cuts you off aggressively and almost removes your front fascia from your vehicle, you just exchange stares, while offended driver exclaims, "I should tell you off!", and the incident is forgotten about while both drivers drive away. In Greece, it's the land of the fittest, where courtesy doesn't exist, and impatience is ruled by Darwin's Law. Mentally, I had a hard time with this, since I wanted to teach every discourteous Greek driver a lesson in patience and respect. But every time I did, the other driver just said, "I should tell you off." We took a shitload of pictures and vidoes. There are some that you just gotta see. In the next few days I'll be posting some of the "Best of the Best" pictures so share. Some of these, in my opinion, are pretty top-notch pics. Keep an eye out. posted by Dino at 11:25 AM (permanent link) Saturday, July 12, 2003
Went to the Doctor Believe it or not, I actually made time yesterday morning to go to the doctor to see if my back/nerve injury would cause permanent paralysis in a few weeks. I ended up getting four x-rays of my spine and hip-- which wasn't the most pleasing experience in my life. Fortunately, I'll live. The x-rays showed that my lower two vertabrae have very little padding between them. Doctor assumed that I had some major sports injury in the past. Funny. I wasn't that much of a sporto in high school, so the only thing I can think of that may have caused the deterioration of the padding is driving in my Jeep for the last nine years. Anyway, the lower two vertabrae are pinching the psiatic nerve going into my left leg which is contributing to a muscle spasm in my lower back. The end result is the same: I have MAJOR pain when walking, sitting, driving, standing, and living. Doctor prescribed Motrin, Vicodin, and some type of non-drowsy muscle relaxer that is supposed to be better than Valium. Who wants a muscle relaxer that doesn't cause drowsiness? As soon as I got home, there were twelve people off the streets waiting in line on my porch for free Vicodin handouts. I don't get it. What's the big frenzy with Vicodin? It's a pain killer. Who wants to do a drug for recreation that turns you into a zombie? I have never understood that concept... which is almost parallel to my opinions on alcohol. For recreation, I'd rather do something that does the opposite. If I want to sleep, I can do that without help. Silly crackheads. After taking my first dose of my above drug cocktail tonight, that shit knocked me out for a few hours. What a waste. I don't even think it helped. Funny, the only thing that really has helped ease the pain was a shmear of Icy Hot rubbed liberally into my back and hip. I never understood how that stuff works, but it did loosen up the muscle and offered some temporary pain relief. I hate the smell of the wintergreen locker room smell, but it worked. Packing for Greece It's 3:30 AM and I'm still packing for Greece. I took a three hour hiatus after getting knocked out, and I'm scrambling now to get packed. I'll probably end up forgetting something critical like the digital wallet or the digital camera battery charger. Who cares about clothes... I'm more worried about my ability to take pictures. I have a sickness, I know. Anyway, we're outta here at 5:50 PM. I'll try to post to my blog whenever possible. If my phone ends up working in Greece, I will definitely be posting audio blogs, just because I'm a geek. posted by Dino at 3:55 AM (permanent link) Tuesday, July 08, 2003
The Painful Branch After returning home from our extended weekend in Traverse City, I noticed that my lawn was covered with branches, twigs, and other appendages from wind-savaged plant life. Damn! I missed a tornado!? Venturing into the backyard, I discovered a huge branch sitting in the middle of the lawn that apparently came from the tree in my FRONT yard. Weird! After unpacking, I donned some junky clothes, got out my rarely used (but so nice when you need it) chainsaw, and started quartering the fallen branch. The chainsaw started up perfectly, only needing a few pulls and half-choke. I LOVE chainsaws! There's so much destructive power in such a little package. I've actually seen chainsaws on ESPN that were equipped with Kawasaki Ninja motors. Those things cut through redwoods like butter. Anyway, I started joyously quartering the fallen limb by first cutting off the little runners, then cutting the larger limbs into three foot lengths to meet local garbage ordinances. About ten minutes into cutting, I felt a little snap & pop in my hip and spine as I was bent over in a funny position. The position looked funny, but it was really related to safety. I was wearing sandals (like a dumbass) and shorts (like a dumbass), so I positioned myself to prevent the least amount of injury should the chainsaw snap uncontrollably toward flesh. Well, as soon as I got up, I noticed that something was quite wrong with my body: the snap & pop were a combination of my spine and hipbone bearing down on a nerve which was a result of one of my body's atypical muscle spasms. I get muscle spasms frequently, where a back/neck muscle will stay in a locked position, which often results in a pinched nerve. Heat, anti-inflammatories, pain killers and muscle relaxers are the only things that seem to work to get the muscle relaxed again. So far the last few days, I've been anguishing in pain, hobbling from point A to point B. I thought about going to a doctor to get some medication, and possibly a back readjustment, but with only a few days before we leave for Greece, who has the time? Right now, it just seems that good rest is the only thing that has been working... which means no more four-hour sleep nights for me. I do have a bottle of some expired prescription-strength Motrin, which I have been taking regularly. They expired in 1997. They work fine. I just hope the anguishing pain disappears by the time we board the 747 to head over to Greece. It would really suck if I had to deal with the pain for ten hours on a not-so-ergonomic airplane seat. Surveillance Tapes So, how did that tree branch from the front yard tree make its way to the backyard? That's a good question, and I demanded an answer! You know all those webcams that I have in my house? Those things also act as surveillance cameras, taking pictures every 60 seconds! I bet nobody knew that. Well, I jumped onto the spare bedroom computer and watched the surveillance video from July 3 - July 5. On July 4, around 2pm, I watched the sky turn from blue to grey to black to purple. It was AWESOME! Trees were sideways, debris was everywhere, and I think I even spotted Toto and a cow flying by. Dammit! A tornado, and I missed it! Drats! A few frames later, when the sky was purple, I saw the front tree branch sitting in the middle of the front lawn. And a few frames later, the branch was gone! How in the heck did it end up in the backyard? So, I jumped onto the family room computer, fired up the TrackerCam software, and watched the surveillance footage for the side of the house. I dialed in the date and time to July 4 around 2pm, and my question was answered! Josh hauled the tree branch to the backyard. Good thing for surveillance cams. At least they were put to a practical use finally. I then went outside again, and started picking up the debris that was littered on my lawn. It took a while. My neighbor came out and I asked him what I missed. "Horizontal wind shear", he said, "Lasted about ten seconds." So, I guess it wasn't a tornado after all. But I am a little disappointed that I missed it. posted by Dino at 11:51 PM (permanent link) Tuesday, July 01, 2003
First Full Day Back at the Office I didn't know what to do with myself today, as I spent a full day behind my desk! Last week, I don't think that I stopped into the office even once, since I was running around meeting to meeting between Dearborn, Livonia, Auburn Hills and Centerline. The week before that, I think I was in the office for a total of six hours. The week before that, I think I was in the office for 20 hours. The Blackberry has definitely help this transformation into "Mobile Professional", as I was able to receive, read, and promptly reply to all email and phone messages. Sure, the Blackberry is no Axim when it comes to applications, but it is seamlessly integrated into our company's mailservers... all wireless. I felt a little anti-productive today, even though I got more Decoma work done today, than I have in the last three weeks. Nevertheless, I did feel a little stiffled, as I was rooted into my office for the majority of the day. There's something to be said about driving around town in a noisy, leaky, lifted Jeep with no AC... perhaps it's the rawness of the drive: hitting every bump and crack as the stiff, jolty suspension transfers the shockwaves into my kidneys. Or perhaps I missed being stuck on the bump-n-grind I-696, dodging orange barells, and continuously shifting between 1st and 2nd gear for two hours. I'm not sure why I feel a little stifled today. Good Games! All I know is that I'm home now, and I'm going to fire up Warcraft III. Pretty fun game, as I've always been a Blizzard fan... Warcraft, Warcraft II, and Starcraft. They're all addictive. But then again I get addicted to ALL games... even first-person shoot-em-ups. I just finished Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, which was a total blast. I still load GTA up once in a while to drive around in a tank, run over cops, and shoot RPGs at law-enforcement helicopters... such stress relief. posted by Dino at 5:49 PM (permanent link) |